We still have good days and bad days, ups and downs, we laugh, we cry, we sob. We pray for the kids who were with Kurt on that day. We pray for his friends who weren't.
Some days I feel sorry for myself and somethimes I think, "Why NOT us?"
Kurt was a great kid. He wasn't perfect. He sassed his parents, fought with his brother and sister and teased his cousins. But we was a great kid. I've tried to find out things about him from friends and kids at school. Sometimes I'm jealous of them having more of his time than I had. But I think I saw the truest Kurt of all.
He loved to laugh. In school I think he was pretty serious or quiet during class. Not always, I know. But here, alone with me, he loved to laugh. Most days he was on the couch, playing PS2 or watching sports.
It was tough to walk into the living room to see that empty couch. His feet weren't on the coffee table. He wasn't petting the dog with one hand while eating hot pockets with the other.
Sometimes he'd head up to his room early at night, and what was he doing???? When he was bored, he'd do sit-ups and push-ups!
I miss hearing him say, in his deep voice, "Mom, I'm hungry." His voice was low even when he was little. We've been watching some old home videos which make us laugh and cry. I'm so glad we have them. SO glad.
God is still good. All the time. No matter what we face, no matter what we have to go through. He still loves us and is good all the time.
My thoughts jump around quickly. I have a hard time focusing for any length of time.
We have a new Pastor at our church, and I'd like to invite any of you, especially those who don't go to a church, to come to ours. 9:00 a.m. Sundays. Yeah, it's early, but God's ALWAYS awake, so time means nothing to Him.
I thought of that a lot one day....maybe today we ought to celebrate Kurt's 365th day in heaven. But he doesn't even know or care that it's been a year!! He's just enjoying EVERY minute of it.
I long for the day to see him again. What a great reunion. What a day that will be.
On this incredibly difficult day, we have a huge game tonight. With Kaisa playing basketball in the quarter finals, we have something to look forward to. GO GLADS !!
If you see us on the street, in the school, at a game....don't hesitate to talk about Kurt with us. He's pretty much always on our minds, and we know you think of him, too.
This community we live in has been an amazing support for us throughout this entire year. Again, we thank you. Thank you seems so small compared to ALL of the kindness, support and compassion you've shown. It has been amazing to see the unity that happened. God is still using Kurt's death for His glory and I praise Him for that.
Our God is an awesome God.
We thank you for all of your prayers for us and continue to need them. From what I hear from other parents who have lost a child, we will need that prayer support forever.
Kurt, until then. I love you. mom
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9 comments:
It has been a long year, yet it seems like just yesterday. Tears still come very easily as I read through this and think of you guys. I was reminded of Hebrews 13:8 today. "Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today and forever!!" He is the same today as he was a year ago today when he called Kurt home to be with him! He is good! Even when we don't understand his ways. Jerry and Anna, your faith in Jesus Christ is such a testimony to that! One of my favorite quotes is by Oswald Chambers. He said that "Faith is deliberate confidence in the character of God whose ways we may not understand at the time." That is what you have! Deliberate confidence in the character of God! He is who he says he is... ALL THE TIME!! I love you so much!
Our prayers are with you and your family. Denice Soyring Higman
My prayers are with you's all...always. And you are all so deserving of all the support and thanks from every single one of us. You are all so extremely amazing and special and kind and generous. You are all such beautiful people! As was (and is) Kurt. Good luck with the game. I'm listening now and waiting for a great victory!
My thoughts and prayers are with all of you! I send hugs and hope to see you this summer:) Awesome job at the game Kaisa...I know you played hard for Kurt! Good luck down state!! We'll be running the half strong for Kurt as soon as you know it!
Take care all and May God Bless you,
Carla:)
Dear Anna,Jerry,Dan,and Kaisa
I think about y'all often and you're always in my prayers. So many things remind me of him.....I know that I did not know him very well,but celebrating our birthdays was really special and I don't think that I'll ever have a birthday without thinking of him. I love you and know that I am praying for you always (((HUGS))) Kristi
It's hard to believe it's been a whole year, not a day goes by I don't think about you guys and pray for you guys!! Your family deserves all of the support and kindness from everybody! you're wonderful people with a community that cares for you it's such a blessing.
It IS hard to believe that it's been a year. It seems like just yesterday when our algebra teacher up here in Calumet told us what had happened to Kurt, and to pray for him. Although I never met him, my little brother played against Kurt in their 8th grade basketball championships. Kurt was an amazing player, and from what my brother said, he was a great opponent. It shows how much my brothers team thought of Kurt, as they wore memorial bands for him when they played Ontonagon this year. I often think of your family, and you are in my prayers. May God help you through each and every day. Take care.
Anna, I was just doing a search for thing in Ontonagon and I came across your blog. Thanks for sharing from your heart and of your faith. I look forward to getting to know you and better, and one day meeting your much beloved son when we reach our final destination.
Continuing in prayer for you and yours,
Sarah
every so often i find myself on this blog reading through the posts, and looking at the photos.. i just wanted to let you know that your family is amazing, and strong, and beautiful and i am certainly honored to have known you. although i have moved so far away, i think of yous everyday, and yous are still in my prayers.
<3 brittany buzzo.
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