Well, we have been through one long, long year. And we made it.

We still have good days and bad days, ups and downs, we laugh, we cry, we sob. We pray for the kids who were with Kurt on that day. We pray for his friends who weren't.

Some days I feel sorry for myself and somethimes I think, "Why NOT us?"

Kurt was a great kid. He wasn't perfect. He sassed his parents, fought with his brother and sister and teased his cousins. But we was a great kid. I've tried to find out things about him from friends and kids at school. Sometimes I'm jealous of them having more of his time than I had. But I think I saw the truest Kurt of all.

He loved to laugh. In school I think he was pretty serious or quiet during class. Not always, I know. But here, alone with me, he loved to laugh. Most days he was on the couch, playing PS2 or watching sports.

It was tough to walk into the living room to see that empty couch. His feet weren't on the coffee table. He wasn't petting the dog with one hand while eating hot pockets with the other.

Sometimes he'd head up to his room early at night, and what was he doing???? When he was bored, he'd do sit-ups and push-ups!

I miss hearing him say, in his deep voice, "Mom, I'm hungry." His voice was low even when he was little. We've been watching some old home videos which make us laugh and cry. I'm so glad we have them. SO glad.

God is still good. All the time. No matter what we face, no matter what we have to go through. He still loves us and is good all the time.

My thoughts jump around quickly. I have a hard time focusing for any length of time.

We have a new Pastor at our church, and I'd like to invite any of you, especially those who don't go to a church, to come to ours. 9:00 a.m. Sundays. Yeah, it's early, but God's ALWAYS awake, so time means nothing to Him.

I thought of that a lot one day....maybe today we ought to celebrate Kurt's 365th day in heaven. But he doesn't even know or care that it's been a year!! He's just enjoying EVERY minute of it.

I long for the day to see him again. What a great reunion. What a day that will be.

On this incredibly difficult day, we have a huge game tonight. With Kaisa playing basketball in the quarter finals, we have something to look forward to. GO GLADS !!

If you see us on the street, in the school, at a game....don't hesitate to talk about Kurt with us. He's pretty much always on our minds, and we know you think of him, too.

This community we live in has been an amazing support for us throughout this entire year. Again, we thank you. Thank you seems so small compared to ALL of the kindness, support and compassion you've shown. It has been amazing to see the unity that happened. God is still using Kurt's death for His glory and I praise Him for that.

Our God is an awesome God.

We thank you for all of your prayers for us and continue to need them. From what I hear from other parents who have lost a child, we will need that prayer support forever.

Kurt, until then. I love you. mom

Thinking of Kurt

Now that March is here I think of Kurt more than ever.
The time in the hospital, the visitation, the funeral, the burial.
I try to focus on the positives.
All the tremendous support from family and friends and even strangers.
I think of all the great memories of Kurt's life.
The football games, playing catch with the baseball, (me busting the car window), the pony rides, the wrasslin'. and watching Vikings games.
The way he told jokes.
The million ways he made us smile.
And how proud he made us all.

On March 8th, I plan to watch some of Kurt's football games again on DVD.
On March 17th I plan to weep. again.
I miss him so much.
Steve