Wednesday, April 2, 2008

Hi everyone, (from Anna)

Hi everyone,
I'm not sure how many people continue to check this blog, but I thought I would add something.

I had a rough afternoon of missing Kurt today. But tonight I spent alot of time reading entries on this blog. Many of them I read for the first time, even ones that were written before Kurt died. I've shed many tears tonight, some for the pain I've felt in sorrow and grief, and some simply because I was so touched by so many, many people.

Some of the tears have been shed, because I'm ashamed of myself. I look back at some of the entries and realize how I've allowed my focus to shift from my loving Heavenly Father, to MY pain, MY loss, MY sorrow, and MY hurt. I know that Kurt's life and death are bringing glory to God and reading tonight reminded me of that fact.

I am so thankful for all the people who have taken the time to write to us, to pray for us and to share Bible verses with us. The verses that Alex Saari shared really touched me tonight, "Dear Brothers and Sisters, when troubles come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing." James 1:2-4 I'm not sure what version this is, I'll have to find out, but I've never heard it read "consider it an OPPORTUNITY FOR GREAT JOY" and "your endurance has a chance to grow. SO LET IT GROW."

Why wouldn't I want my endurance to grow? I need to realize that through the pain of losing Kurt, God is giving me a chance to grow in HIM. That's no reason to be sad, that's reason to rejoice. Praise God that "All things work together for good to those who love God, who've been called according to HIS purpose." Kurt was called home to heaven for God's purpose, just as I have been left here to grow in HIM for HIS purpose. Sometimes I feel overwhelmed by how much God trusts me, when I know that in myself, I am truly a wimp.

I just thought of the Thumbelina song we used to sing when we were kids, "...what's the difference if you're very small? When your heart is full of joy, you're nine feet tall." As I've said to many people, I'm not strong at all, God's just got his hands in my armpits and everytime I feel like my knees are turning to jell-o, I look to Him and feel His strong arms holding me up. I want to thank each and every one of you who've helped us (and continue to help us) through this difficult time in our lives.

I am so encouraged by the people who've shared that they are turning back to God after all that has happened. Even more encouraging, will be the moment someone says that they have come to know Jesus as a result of Kurt's death. The devil hates when things don't go his way. And what satan intends for evil, God can use for HIS good. Hallelujah. anna

23 comments:

Just Me said...

"And what satan intends for evil, God can use for HIS good. Hallelujah."
***************************
Just so you know... yes someone is still reading (although I have never commented before)! and the sentence I quoted from you that you quoted from the word is sooooo very true!

Jon Uotila said...

I'm still reading too. God is guiding you through this hard time. When we are weak he is strong! It's o.k. to have weak moments. I love you and we are still praying for your family. The Uotila Family

pakosta said...

I still read your blog and check in to see how your family is doing. and i also check in because you are a great inspiration to others with your faith, and you are strong! strong in your belief and faith and that's what matters most. i do think that through you and through kurt's death, that others will be brought to Christ. and we can rejoice in that....God bless you and your beautiful family.
tara

Anonymous said...

Anna,

Once again you truly amaze me!! I had a bad day at work and the first thing I did when I came home was to check the blog. I have checked it everyday, and through all my own so-called problems, you bring me back down to earth and all disappears when I refocus. You all are constantly in my prayers. And remember, when things aren't going well, just look up.

Kimmer

Anonymous said...

HI Anna and Jerry,

I'm still here... and reading... and praying for all of you! You continue to be in my thoughts every day! Whenever I begin to try to figure things out "on my terms" I get overwhelmed. That's when I need to have faith in the fact that there is something so much bigger than me going on. I firmly believe that about Kurt too!

God brought you here. He will carry you through!

Lots of love, Patti

Mike K. said...

i'm still reading the site...in fact i visit it daily
like jon said (God is guiding you through this hard time. When we are weak he is strong!)i'm still praying for you guys.
God bless
mike kioski

Mike K. said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

Dear Anna I'm still reading the blog and praying for you often. I know God will always be there for you "I will never leave thee nor forsake thee". Remember the Lord your GOD never gives you anything that you can't handle. He may give you something that you cannot handle by yourself but never does he give you something you can't handle with his help my prayers are with you and the whole family and not to mention all his friends with much love kristi

Anonymous said...

Hi Anna & Jerry
God Bless you and your family for your strong and unbelievable stand for "God being Glorified". Trevor told me how you were at his game. That meant so much to him (and us as we couldn't be there)He tied his white "in memory" ribbon to his trophy. That will be a special one!
May God continue to hold you and your family in his precious hands. My friend is coming to church with me on sunday (Bethany). If you are able to make it, we'll see you there.
Love and Prayers Craig and Gail Ongie

The Dockery Family said...

Dear Anna, Jerry, Kaisa, & Daniel,

Amy H. just gave me the address to the blog and I read each entry from yesterday (4/2) through to the day of the accident. You are in our thoughts and prayers. The blog is full of promises from scripture. I love that! Anna, your sense of humor shines through even though the grief is so intense. Here's a big hug from our family to yours ( ).

Love,

Renee Dockery

Anonymous said...

One night i was thinking about kurt and i took a chocolate and they say something in the inside and it said "dont think about it so much" i told my mom and she said that its probobly a good idea but i think its hard not to think about it

kurt will live forever in our hearts and minds we willne ver forget him

Anonymous said...

Still praying for all you guys. Still reading too. Love you tons an tons guys :)


Joe

Anonymous said...

Dear Anna,Jerry, Kaisa and Dan,

Yes I am here still reading. I awake every morning with your names on my mind, throughout the day you are there constantly, and the last thing when I go to bed at night you are there. The Lord puts you there to be lifted up in prayer, and I do. Anna you are amazing in the Lord. Keep sharing Anna, it is not only a healing for you but for all of us as well. You have always had a deep faith and desired more of the Lord, a hungering and and thirsting. It is very evident that you and Jerry have testified that faith and love to your children and they have accepted it as well. Keep standing on the Word and believing. Yes you ARE enduring and growing and so are we through your testimony. Because of your testimony others will be brought to Christ and those that are weary will be encouraged and stengthened. Kurt lives eternally and his testimony lives on this earth and will bring about fruit in its time. He touched more people in his short life and still is, then many of us who have lived on this earth for years. He shared the love of Christ. Love, Bonnie

Sharon (notimetostamp) said...

Hi Anna -- I'm still reading, too. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't see you in my mind. My eyes were totally fixed on you the day of the funeral, from way up in the bleachers where we were sitting. The total calm and grace with which you carried yourself that day will NEVER leave my mind -- it is SO APPARENT that God was with you each step of the way because, as a mother, I KNOW that no mother could do on her own, what you did. It was only with His help. The love you and Jerry and the entire Blake family shares for the Lord is so apparent in all you do. Your testimoy within your community and here on Kurt's blog are far reaching -- many lives have been touched, and will continue to be touched. And I ditto all said by Bonnie who commented above me -- she said exactly what I had on my mind when I came here to post, but she said it much more eloquently than I could have and I'll close by quoting her here:

*Because of your testimony others will be brought to Christ and those that are weary will be encouraged and stengthened. Kurt lives eternally and his testimony lives on this earth and will bring about fruit in its time.*

God Bless you All -- we continue to hold you up in our prayers.

Sharon Johnson and family

Anonymous said...

my friend told me this today-
you know in church how people gave their best sheep kurt is the sheep i dont know it made some sence kurt was our best sheep

-Bailee

Anonymous said...

I'm still here, reading and praying, and checking on the site nearly every day. You are all still very much in my prayers...I have found myself trying to connect with God more than I ever have throughout college; and I need that more than ever at this point in my life. In a sense, I've been put on a good track...which sounds silly and selfish, but it truly has put me back into things with the Lord.
Also, I wanted to share with you a little story. A good friend of mine that I made here at Ferris never thought much of faith and Jesus. However, as I told her about Kurt, she felt bad and didn't know how to react to the situation. She came to youth group back in Ontos during our spring break and was overwhelmed by all the kids sharing verses and praying...as more and more people poured in and gave hugs, and encouraged each other and prayed for you all, she was becoming intrigued. She is still not entirely sure about her faith in the Lord, but she attends a Chrisitan group with me here at Ferris and makes sure that her and I go to bible studies and to fellowships on the campus...
She has prayed, too, for you and Kurt. Probably the first prayers she has said...
But it has also put her into this world of faith.
Praise God!

Anonymous said...

Oh, and the version is the New Living Translation of the James verse.

Anonymous said...

I don't have words to say. I know especially how you guys feel at this time of year. especially anna and jerry. Losing my daughter last year on the 9th of April. In time, things will get easier. God will carry you!! and even better let him carry yous! I love you guys and my prayers for you are endless.

2 Corinthians 12:9
Phillipians 1:3-4

Anonymous said...

We still check it Anna. Your loss is something that is painful to many of us. Your attitude of keeping the focus on God is perfect. Do not be ashamed to feel the pain though. Jesus wept when his friend Laz. died. The sting of death is not friendly and for it to hurt proves our humanity.
Matt Wiesen
You are in our prayers.

Anonymous said...

I am still checking Anna, and you will always be in my prayers and thoughts.

Love you always,

Robbie

Anonymous said...

Hello, I too am still checking the sight weekly. It is still very important to me. You are not a wimp Anna, it's a hard thing to go through and you are doing very well. I and my family keep you all in our thoughts and prayers, even Kurt. I still cannot belive it but just know you have a lot of support from your family and people who care so much.
-Emily Shiner

Anonymous said...

Hey Anna,

I've been reading, please keep posting. Your faith in Christ has always been such a light for others to see, especially me. One cannot know your family without seeing Christ's unconditional love and grace. Even in trials you persevere though HIS strength and your faith is strengthened and not shaken.
I'm here praying for you to have that perfect peace that passes understanding.
As God allows we'll be in Ontonagon for the long haul and hope we can help where you have a need.
Even in trials God is good, I have been able to share Christ where I have never shared before. Someday I'll get to share that testimony with you.

I was thinking of the song, "Shine Jesus Shine" So more than ever may Jesus Shine.

Candy Graff

ThomasJames said...

Dear Anna and Family , ,,,


[ my apologies for my delay ]


Thank You for sharing your grief ...

I share your grief, though i didn't know Kurt...


Please Know --
your grief ... Is nothing to feel badly about :
(y)our grief Is Part of healing .


as I told Jerry , Please Call , AnyTime , ,,, and
Please extend that Request to Daniel .
I have Friends at IowaState ...


again , I do share your grief .


and My Respects ,,, to

The (Prom) Queen :)

with love, tj